it’s been more than a year since i have blogged and i recently discovered why. since i got sick 2 years ago while traveling in europe i have re-hashed and over thought everything that happened. i have even done the same thing with my spiraling last year around christmas. it’s hard some day to think clearly when your mind is bogged down with negativity and re-hashing the past which no longer can be changed.

so i am going to try something new write everyday on my blog no matter how short or long. i am even thinking of writing poetry again something i haven’t done for 7 years. living with a mental illness is challenging and trying to clear a path through my brain when it’s all gobbled is even harder. i am going to try to stop the playbacks in my head and instead focus on here and now. not what has passed that can’t have a do over. i guess you only live once and focusing on the present is what i am going to do.

If you are having a bad day and someone is having a tougher time realize that One in Four people are walking around undiagnosed or have refused medication for their illness.

Having a mental illness doesn’t mean you are Less it means you are more. Creative, smart and talented. There is nothing wrong with having a mental illness. If you are taking your medication and are under doctor supervision you are still a person.

It’s essential to have a support network you can call or talk to when things get rough. Having a support network is essential for all of us. So, next time you want point fingers don’t.

i have been crippled the last week with fear of the everyday-from taking local transportation to welcoming my husband back at the airport. it’s hard to live with fear because it can become crippling and the only way i find to move past it is to move through it-whatever it may be.

being fear can trigger fight or flight and it can cause you to feel that every word you say may have a dire consequence when it may not have a consequence at all. i have felt this whole week that i have been living under a microscope of fear. going places i am used to going to and still feeling afraid is hard.

today i will embrace my fear and hope that no harm will come to me either in a hospital or when i am in the city. i will breathe and face it as it’s only thing i can do.