How do you stay resilient in hard times?
Focused. I stay in the moment no matter how hard it is. I stay focused on being where I am. By focusing on simple tasks I stay focused on them & not what’s trying to tip me over.
I never had a safe parent growing up, I only had myself. Hence, I’ve already lived through terror & a special kind of hell. Maybe that’s why most things don’t faze me.
It doesn’t mean I don’t notice toxic people or behavior. Trust me I do all the time. I make a note of it & move on with my day.
Resilience is like being in a constant storm but not having it phase you in any way. It’s staying grounded & true to yourself when someone tries to gaslight you or tell you that you’re crazy. By simply not replying or walking away from the toxic individual. Makes you the adult in the situation.
Another thing resilience does is make you immune to bullshit & lies. I always look at the person starting the rumor. Usually they’re self destructive & on a war path & find you a convenient target. Pay attention to how they pretend to be kind to fish for information.
I learned this when I was in a homeless shelter over 20 years ago. Women in the shelter would fish for personal info that they’d think made you weak.
Hence, I only share personal info with very few people. I would rather hear some made up grade school story about myself then feed toxic people information. My friend’s circle is very small for this reason.
Resilience is something unstable, cruel people aren’t capable of. They want to cause destruction & why not try to bring you down with them. I pity people that behave this way. They’re using the rumors about you so they don’t get the spotlight on them. Watch all the skeletons come out when it is.
Also, pretending to be genuine isn’t the same thing as being genuine with those around you. Most toxic people fake this very trait. I can spot it from a mile away. Air of bullshit & grandeur.
Be true to yourself in the storm no matter how hard it tries to blow you over.
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