I am working on my book & found a journal from the Spring of 2006; in it I discovered that I thought that I had found my great, big love of my life. Reading it now I realize that I was willing to settle for someone who preferred alcohol to me. In the end he damaged my body so badly I had nearly ten grand in medical bills & like the true alcoholic he was he wouldn’t take responsibility for his actions.

In the end he stalked me until I became homeless a year later, something the therapist I saw at the time warned me would happen. It was eerie to read my thoughts at the time & how much I tried to reason with someone who wasn’t able to take responsibility. At the end it felt like crazy making because that’s what it was. He “claimed” he loved me but when someone loves you they don’t assault you & then hide behind a corrupt police department.

Fourteen years later I am relieved I didn’t go back to the guy that assaulted me. I would probably be 6 feet under by now instead of safe & happy in my marriage of the last decade. When someone loves you they take ownership for their actions no matter how bad they may have been. They don’t stalk you or follow you because they left you no choice BUT to end it with them. Apologizing is golden & owning your actions is a sign that you’re not only a grown-up but also someone who deserves trust.

Next time someone “claims” they love you after they have physically hurt you, think twice because abuse in ANY form is NOT love. Period.

Well, we are in another lockdown & it shows, as I went into town today to run some simple errands. I waited for the right day as people where frantic on Monday & Tuesday. Today, the city was quiet as a church mouse. The R # is at 1,6% which is just aweful. With Thanksgiving right around the corner it’s sad.

We got some crappy news this week I have chosen to not share on my blog, but it has made both of us sad. We wanted to make a difference for someone & now we can’t. Bummer.

I am glad we are in another lockdown as people where being careless in the city. Now, pretty much everyone has a mask on, on transit & where you can’t keep 1 meter\3 feet. We have to get the R # down to below 1% so we can have a somewhat normal Christmas. I have already finished my Christmas shopping for the year so I am happy. I could see the writing on the wall & had a feeling if I didn’t get stuff done now I may not have a chance in December.

I am both happy & sad this week, such is life. Hopefully, next week will be brighter. I certainly hope so?

Well, today I called the city of Bergen & reported my so-called doctor to them. Enough is Enough. When I spoke to the doctor from the hospital last week he told me that my doctor had gotten the read out for my MRI in April this year. So, why hasn’t he done anything in 6 months??

Let me take a guess, he thought the pain I have on my left side would a)magically disappear b)that I wouldn’t find out that he sat on the results without doing anything for 6 months.

It’s soo unprofessional I don’t have the words for it in this blog, because it’s MALPRACTICE & if he did to me he is doing to others. He deserves to lose his pension if this something he thinks he’s actually going to get away with. He hires these assistant doctors that a)don’t listen to your concerns b)change your medications without telling you(MALPRACTICE). C) Give you attitude IF they do something wrong with your treatment. It starts with the M-A-L.

I switched doctors this weekend & I am keeping my fingers crossed that my new doctor has better bedside manner than the failure I have written about above. Makes me nervous BUT I think I have given my so-called doctor a fair chance & he has failed at every turn it was time to move on.

Maybe sometime this Winter I may finally get some answers??? IF I am lucky?