Some: Times

Navigating life through coffee, volunteering & laughter.

Recent Posts

  • a pivotal summer

    I have been writing alot about the Summer & Fall of 1997; many things happened. It was a pivotal Summer for alot of reasons, I was starting my sophmore year of University & had an action filled Summer. Which ended with a regret.

    I went out to a bar I never went to & met a cute a guy, one thing let to another & we hooked up. However, he didn’t know that his girlfriend had brought back an sti in their bedroom. He was asymptomatic & didn’t know that he made me sick. I got very sick with the sti that I had caught & the university wanted me to go home & rest. Within 24 hours of coming back to my parents house I was nearly killed by my father.

    Hence, that one night hook-up changed my trajectory for the rest of my adult life. I have been reflecting on this aspect & if I could’ve done things differently, probably. Hindsight is always 20\20. It propelled me out of my home state & I moved to Seattle in 2000. I am grateful that I moved to Seattle for many reasons. I met my husband there & have lifelong friends there, something I am forever grateful for.

    No, that one night stand could have probably changed my trajectory to have stayed in my home state, something I am grateful I didn’t do. Being back in Norway has been totally worth it & I don’t regret a thing, with my husband & our dog. I have been wondering what would have happened if that night didn’t happen but I am glad it did. It pivoted me to where I am now. To think that was the turning point in my 20’s I would have never guessed at the happiness I have or the stability. So, for that I am grateful Everyday.

  • #metoo & a movement

    I was watching TV last night & stumbled upon a documentary on a Monster who violated women for over 30 years, he almost got away with it. But in the end he didn’t. Sexual predators are that sexual predators, they don’t care what or how they treat a woman as long as they have Control & threats & intimidation is they try to keep you inline after they have violated you. #metoo is essential in this day & age of tinder & online dating. No means NO, it doesn’t mean I have to think about it, it means I am uncomfortable with what the situation is & want OUT. Period.

    I was raped in college & held captive in a dank & gross dorm room & after he was done with me he forced me to shower. He called me a Fallen Angel something I have never forgotten. He forced me to drive him to a railroad station because he had to rescue a female friend in the city. I found out later that he had done it to several women in my town so I was just seen as a conquest & trophy. He stole my virginity & my trust in men. 10 years after his conquest & rape of me he contacted me & acted as if he done nothing wrong. I won’t go into the details of my response but it was blunt.

    This culture that men can take whatever they want, when they want needs to Stop. As a rape survivor I count my blessings with my husband of the past decade as he knows me really well & understands what makes me uncomfortable. When you have been held by a Monster in a dorm room, you no longer find confined spaces particularly comfortable. I also don’t respond to whistling on the street or shouting. THAT is harassment. Period.

    In the documentary one of the women that had been violated spoke about attempting to get her sexuality back after he had taken it from her. I know I did the same thing, baby steps, one foot in front of the other. When my husband says that I look good, I can accept that now. But if other men cat call or make a comment I get uncomfortable. It has to do with TRUST. With my male friends it’s one thing, with a stranger it’s another. #metoo should NEVER go away, as long as there’s predatory men out there. I will raise my voice. I was silent for way too long.

  • The Fist

    Last week, I was walking down a street in the center of town & said No to a transient, drug user who proceeded to answer my No with his fist, hitting me in the arm. He hit me as hard as he could & them mocked me saying I wouldn’t contact the police. Well, they found him & removed him from town. I have never been a victim of blind violence in Norway & it really scared me. I was hit by a woman in Seattle over a decade ago who hit me in the kidney for no apparent reason. But she was obviously upset by something she thought I had done, to this day I don’t know what?

    It’s one of those things that I am grateful for my friends in town who have been very supportive & shocked about. You always have the Right to say No to someone asking for a handout. You are Never obligated to give them anything. Saying No should not make you a target of violence or anything else. I find it scary that he doesn’t understand boundaries but obviously there was something Wrong with the guy that hit me. I will leave that to the authorities in this matter.

    I am so grateful for the my friends in town who have been visibly shook up by this, because blind violence is just that unprovoked violence has no place in society. Hitting someone because you can’t get high is not my problem or anyone else’s. I am not responsible for anybody else BUT myself & my husband. When you are reactive to a NO signals problems I don’t dare go into. Answering that No with a fist is not answer. I have never had an issue saying NO; not even when I was homeless 13 years ago. I learned to not divulge anything that Summer I was homeless, I was mute & told people that I would not tell them anything. Period.

    Things are looking up though, I know who my true friends are because of this so it was a litmus test for that. I am happy though, no one can steal my happiness or my gratefulness NOT even a guy with a Fist.