I am working on my book & found a journal from the Spring of 2006; in it I discovered that I thought that I had found my great, big love of my life. Reading it now I realize that I was willing to settle for someone who preferred alcohol to me. In the end he damaged my body so badly I had nearly ten grand in medical bills & like the true alcoholic he was he wouldn’t take responsibility for his actions.
In the end he stalked me until I became homeless a year later, something the therapist I saw at the time warned me would happen. It was eerie to read my thoughts at the time & how much I tried to reason with someone who wasn’t able to take responsibility. At the end it felt like crazy making because that’s what it was. He “claimed” he loved me but when someone loves you they don’t assault you & then hide behind a corrupt police department.
Fourteen years later I am relieved I didn’t go back to the guy that assaulted me. I would probably be 6 feet under by now instead of safe & happy in my marriage of the last decade. When someone loves you they take ownership for their actions no matter how bad they may have been. They don’t stalk you or follow you because they left you no choice BUT to end it with them. Apologizing is golden & owning your actions is a sign that you’re not only a grown-up but also someone who deserves trust.
Next time someone “claims” they love you after they have physically hurt you, think twice because abuse in ANY form is NOT love. Period.