Some: Times

Navigating life through coffee, volunteering & laughter.

Recent Posts

  • sparkling

    i got some really Good news today, apparently i am clean when it comes to my criminal background check. i got the good news this morning & have spent the day with a Real Felon who Hacked into *hot,* stolen computers& still has a warrant. makes me relieved that it’s NOT me. it gives me a brighter look @ job hunting & getting myself re-established.

    the economy is tanking but @ least gas prices are going down. i feel so relieved about my job search & about the future. for the first time in a long time i am really Happy. i saw the secret life of bee’s today, a movie that was predictable but really sweet. not Worthy of the $7 i spent on the matinee. seeing a movie was good-however i broke my small budget for the day, argh!!

    sitting in a crowded coffee shop is not exactly my idea of fun, but tomorrow will be all Grad school work, all the time. i have been spending too much time goofing off & not enough time working. i am not having nightmares anymore-i wake up & don’t feel dread, like i did when i was in the transitional house. i look forward to sleeping in my own bed.

    life is slowly starting to resemble something Real. the Future is brighter than yesterday.

  • cancerous friendship

    i left the transitional housing program & since then my life has been looking up, in small ways. i have had better interviews& better living situations have come into my life. i have attempted the last month to retain some contact with the women that i lived with & came to realize today that they are the same drama queens they where inside the house as out.

    maybe it’s the pity factor or always having to pay for their coffee, food & other expenses that i seem to end up responsible for when i spend time with them. it’s the user factor-something i noticed when i was in the house, among the theft there was also constant petty theft. clothes would disappear out of the dryer if it wasn’t guarded constantly.

    since i have left i attempted to stay in touch with a few women i lived with-but realized the day before i left that i would always be the one shelling out because they where always broke or claimed to be. i want to go into social work & after seeing how little Real guidance low income women have it’s something i want to change.

    i have also seen myself in the low echelon & not taken myself seriously enough to see beyond the mentality i encountered in the transitional program. when you believe you’re not worth anything you treat everything around as though it isn’t. it’s something i have had a first hand experience with today as i attempted to spend time with someone who was more busy telling me ALL the wrongs in my life, rather than all the good points.

    if i am getting into grad school & my life is on the upswing i need people that are positive & not negative-for the past almost 2 years that is all i have dealt with. because of my own position i thought that it was okay-NOW i realize i have had enough. i need to be on the upswing & that means not taking my own boundaries for granted.

  • 1635

    that’s when my parents town was founded. i had a turbulent few days until i came to realize that my parents are not as well off as they once where & i should be lucky that i have a roof over my head& a place to my head every night. i have been drinking greenmermaid coffee as the alternative was milk with No foam& a smarmy attitude. i have come to realization that i have to make it on my own. i don’t have another choice.

    i find it scary, reality of what is happening that is& what my choices are. the turbulence on the plane on the way over was something i found quite disheartening & left me feeling rather uncertain about my future & what is going on. i have to figure out a way to make it on my own. i still feel great resentment for my dad-who after 20 years of making my life hell now wants to be part of it, it leaves me with a lurch in my stomach.

    i am grateful that i live in seattle & that i found a place there-with friends & support. it makes me really happy. i feel bored in connecticut-the excitement is no longer there for me & i have come to realize that i did make the right decision when i moved away almost a decade ago. i am looking forward to going to going back to the land of good coffee& mellower view of life. it will be good. i can leave the east coast & the past behind me when i go.