i guess i should be excited that i am doing a destination wedding. up until this weekend i was until i realized that my sister had no actual sincere reason to be there. she makes a good living and recently acquired a condo but wouldn’t pay for the plane ticket to Europe. did i miss something? is this the New-Cool way to behave? she’s using the airline miles of her current BF-for which my father is reimbursing him.

wait because this now looks like a bribe-by my own father to get my sister to come.

i was hoping to avoid wedding drama-but i have heard for the most part that something always comes up even when you think everything has been thought of or dealt with.  hence, since she will be coming under false pretenses i don’t want her there at all. she has done the best she can do distance herself from me in every way possible and sense these superficial emails for my birthday/christmas or whatever. she would make for a great politicians wife.

it’s my wedding and i want to have a fun, light fill day not look out over everyone who’s there and begin to count those who are there say for my parents not for me.

something that is making me very sad.  i am dealing with the same false pretense with my wedding shower where a woman i have known since childhood is coming but when she got married in Arizona 6 years ago. she invited everyone in my family BUT me. i am not looking forward to seeing her as i have no interest in her child/ her spouse or her life.

a neighbor of mine was married last Fall and we where invited to her wedding weekend bash which was great. her sister came from TX with her children all in tow and it was a sincere and kind gesture that it almost made me cry. i do have close friends but with my age am realizing that my closest of friends are NOT my family.

something that is typical for children of domestic violence. i doubt VERY much and i  will never allow my parents to see my children as i endured what has been described and compared to WWII growing up my professionals. seeing parents and my sister’s true colors is something i already saw 3 years ago. with their dis-bonded and inept reaction to what happened in my life.

having my father send me an email where i suggest that *apologize* to my sister for removing her from my wedding is not something i will do. maybe i should just remove them from my life permanently as i haven’t trusted them since 1997.

let’s start with the East coast first:
Mary Ellen G. she sent me rude messages on FB so in the end i ended up blocking her.
on the west coast:
There’s the fake and somewhat not all there Heather J. who i met through a non-profit i volunteer for.
Joanna S. and Co-as she sent her BFF over to my neighborhood right after i moved to Beacon Hill. she also had her friends show up at *random* locations. what a treat.
i guess the thing is i have been stalked for most of my life so alternating my schedule is annoying to do but i also know the locations of everyone that has been doing this. i wish i had enough time in my day to harass/follow and stalk someone. it’s exhausting and boring. but hey-i still have the phone. i was thinking of starting with RI State Patrol and work my way back to the West coast. i also made several calls to Tmobile about this problem so that is documented as well. i am not afraid-why would i be. just annoyed that so many people would betray my trust this way.

so, what does one do when one is stalked? through a cell phone/online or in personally? that’s something i have been dealing with for a majority of my life. because i always seem to be the target of people with bad intentions-who usually don’t have a life. or think that mine is fascinating.

i know that my phone began having issues over a year ago. i also know people who deliberately asked me for what kind of cell phone i had and my number. one is a grad student-this could ruin her career and her life. the other is a music teacher of children in rode island and well the others they are local-and taking away their small meek check for a jail sentence when they are already gravely mental ill is not something worth pursuing to me.

i know however that there was more than 5 people involved this time. sad. really sad. i never read my bank account information over the phone and i haven’t since my account was compromised last April. i initially thought that it was during my European trip but now that i realize that someone was actively trying to harm me i understand why the Fraud department contacted me so quickly.

how does it feel to be on the end of being stalked yet again? well, i haven’t cried-because i learned over 15 years ago that this just gives the stalker the emotion they are seeking. the day i learned what transpired i took the necessary steps to protect myself.

i also realize how seeing someone “out of the blue” really wasn’t for the last year and half. i am glad i am not afraid because that’s what stalkers want you to have is fear. i don’t. what i do from a day to day basis will change. because i have to change it because of what has happened.

however, i am still looking forward to my wedding-and next months trip. that hasn’t changed. i will still do good-because i like making a Positive difference in people’s lives. i am also meeting someone brand new in my life this week and i am really excited.

ps-stalking in any form is felony and put you in jail from 15-25 years.  i still have my old phone because it still has the malware that was used to stalk me. i have the evidence which can be tracked back to your IP address/phone number or dummy server.