well-here i sit married. something 5 years ago i never thought i would end up doing-but a sober mind changed that for me nearly 2 years ago. in my 20’s and into my 30’s i often found myself going out twice a week or more and waking up hung-over and clueless. i also dated every buzzed, greased and douchebag guy i could find. manners didn’t matter if he liked to party hard like i did.

then i met a sweet guy from Wisconsin that didn’t like to party and didn’t go out every night and didn’t try to impress me with amount booze he had in his basement(i mean wine.) he took me on great hikes, made amazing breakfasts and showed me some pretty great trails that i never would seen had it not been for the fact that i was always @ some outrageous Burner party drinking “lemonade.”

after he and i ended i stopped going out. Why-because “the scene” wasn’t fun anymore and i got tired of fending off men that where not only drunk but stoned and often would be crazy enough to offer me a ride home. which i stopped declining and ordered a cab way before last call. in 07 before i ended up in the street shelter i drank to cope with how out of control my life was getting. i went from hotel to hotel to a dirty floor filled with stems from pot.  i lived with a habitual pot smoker who’s habit caused me to spiral and what ended with me being in the hospital for 3 weeks.

after i became homeless and i was over-medicated(gorked) i realized that sleeping on a hard floor every night was better than turning tricks or sitting in a bar where i would have put my life in even more jeopardy. having a mat on the floor no matter where that floor was in the end was more important than getting drunk. many things have happened since then-but one of the things i won’t do is have more than 2 drinks and if i do the occasion better be special.

for things being special-i got a dose of that my wedding where i saw plenty of people going out of there way to drink wine even with dessert-and if it’s not port you don’t do that Scandinavia. it’s bad etiquette. i also stopped drinking because my body aches the next day-my fatigue flares and i feel lousy. i know a usual hang-over consists of lack of appetite, sound issues and feeling nauseous. however, for me i have plenty with my whole body aching and not just for one day;

it usually lasts for up to 3 days. that’s over half a week with pain from one night of drinking. which is why @ my own wedding and the days leading up to it-i didn’t feel the need to feel lousy. the jet lag and all the preparation did that all on it’s own. i am enjoying feeling married and having a stable safe place to come home to without wondering if my hubby will ask to see me drunk. those days are behind me and it feels really good to be mature enough to not need to drink just for the sake of doing *something.*

i noticed something on this trip back across the pond that i saw briefly last year. the TV dinner, fast food, quick fix has made it to Scandinavia and not in a good way.  10 years ago or more McD’s burger would have cost you 200NOK($30) today the price has been slashed to 100NOK($15) and burger king and McD’s are fighting it out all over Norway.

7-eleven purchased the local quick shop in Norway called Narvesen and because of this has introduced a slew of new Americanized products. don’t get me wrong-i love Norwegian hot dogs but burger dogs where disgusting. the best way i can describe it is processed meat rolled out into a hot dog. Narvesen because of it’s influence of America now have cheap food combo’s and truck stop latte’s i was too scared to try.

obesity was everywhere-for the first time i saw Big women stores where i least expected them and a dreary afternoon @ the now Mall/train station called Oslo S (Oslo Central Station) i sat next a to Norwegian that was just as disgusted as i was because of what is happening to his country. in the North where my family lives there was obesity in a small town of 6,000 i counted on both hands not a good sign.

everywhere i looked there was bad food combo’s-sloppy joe’s, taco’s, burgers and all the preservatives that go along with it. @ one of the hotels we stayed @ they had *really* bad all you can eat Scandinavian style breakfast but with a twist. they had all grain breads-but that wasn’t what other Norwegians where going for. instead it was the white rolls, ham and people where eating more than one plate. now, i am talking dinner plate size and larger than life portions.

in the North we ate lunch one afternoon in one of the malls-and the traditional Norwegian sandwich of shrimp, mayo and bread cost a small fortune, but if you wanted more American style sandwiches they where in fact cheaper. one of the things i saw plenty of was meal combo’s-coffee and white bun with processed flour Only cost 15NOK($2 )a mere bargain for empty calories and carbs.

there was a time around winter olympics in 1994 that Norway took pride in it’s food-fish and meats. next to where one of my cousins live there’s a coca cola franchise coffee house that has pride it’s very American burger for a bargain price of 124NOK. the whole order comes with the essential fries of course.

before we departed on our honeymoon we spent time in a town not far from where my family lives. when i asked the reception if there was any Norwegian style restaurants her answer surprised me as she referred to American fast food as ethnic. a burger and fries is not *ethnic* is quick way to obesity and diabetes, heart attacks, strokes and lung problems. we found a fab restaurant that looked like it had amazing food-but it reminded me of the PNW-not Norway.

the last night on the boat we decided to splurge and eat @ the captains dinner. as an appetizer we got smoked salmon wrapped in a tortilla with mayo. *gross* would be an understatement. the main course was uber boring and not very good-potatoes au grautain, a weird sauce with peppers and onions that was really nasty. for dessert we got ice cream cake that i couldn’t eat part of because it was so nasty. the final bill with one beer ran $150 and i can tell you it was not worth even getting dressed up for.

there was one thing i found that gave me hope-Kraft recently purchased Freia a chocolate company i grew up with an like all it’s purchases cheapened the ingredients faster than you could say America. however, there is one company Kraft does not own that is Nidar-who ran ads on TV showcasing the fact that there chocolate is made with simple ingredients and Pure Norwegian milk. it does taste better-do you know why-because it’s the old Norwegian pride in food i thought was lost.