I am still working on my book & came across a therapist I attempted to see 15 years ago, that was one of the Worst I have ever seen. She diagnosed me with something that’s so outrageous I am not repeating in this blog. She made me out to be out of control in my life because I was single & having fun at the time. Her diagnosis flabbergasted me as I thought better of her than her actual practice.

She’s not the only bad therapist I have seen, or social worker; in high school I forced to see a guy who attempted to make my living situation very dangerous. He sat in his chair & attempted to tell me that the abuse I was living in at the time, I was “making” up for attention. I found out later in the 1990’s that he lost his ability to practice, with good reason.

Red flags in therapy means you switch therapist asap; if they diagnose you with something that feel outrageous or not true & “they are” the “only” person who can help you. Get a second opinion. They come late to your sessions or doesn’t respect the hour you have with them by shortening it or not honoring it. Switch.

The book has brought up many questions for me, like how my choices weren’t always the best in my 20’s and part of 30’s. I dated the Wrong guys or took the good guys for granted. I acted badly when I was younger not always seeing what was in front of me or what they had to offer. In some ways I have regrets but they’re not many. I look at dating like I look at therapy, the therapist should impress you by listening & encouraging good behavior in you; not by undermining you or the progress you yourself feel that you have made.

Remember to listen to your gut instinct because it’s often not wrong. Holidays can be stressful but take time for YOU and ONLY you. Self care is really important even during a pandemic. Breathe & repeat. Stay tuned for next week comes the annual THANKS-giving post.

I am working on my book & found a journal from the Spring of 2006; in it I discovered that I thought that I had found my great, big love of my life. Reading it now I realize that I was willing to settle for someone who preferred alcohol to me. In the end he damaged my body so badly I had nearly ten grand in medical bills & like the true alcoholic he was he wouldn’t take responsibility for his actions.

In the end he stalked me until I became homeless a year later, something the therapist I saw at the time warned me would happen. It was eerie to read my thoughts at the time & how much I tried to reason with someone who wasn’t able to take responsibility. At the end it felt like crazy making because that’s what it was. He “claimed” he loved me but when someone loves you they don’t assault you & then hide behind a corrupt police department.

Fourteen years later I am relieved I didn’t go back to the guy that assaulted me. I would probably be 6 feet under by now instead of safe & happy in my marriage of the last decade. When someone loves you they take ownership for their actions no matter how bad they may have been. They don’t stalk you or follow you because they left you no choice BUT to end it with them. Apologizing is golden & owning your actions is a sign that you’re not only a grown-up but also someone who deserves trust.

Next time someone “claims” they love you after they have physically hurt you, think twice because abuse in ANY form is NOT love. Period.

Well, we are in another lockdown & it shows, as I went into town today to run some simple errands. I waited for the right day as people where frantic on Monday & Tuesday. Today, the city was quiet as a church mouse. The R # is at 1,6% which is just aweful. With Thanksgiving right around the corner it’s sad.

We got some crappy news this week I have chosen to not share on my blog, but it has made both of us sad. We wanted to make a difference for someone & now we can’t. Bummer.

I am glad we are in another lockdown as people where being careless in the city. Now, pretty much everyone has a mask on, on transit & where you can’t keep 1 meter\3 feet. We have to get the R # down to below 1% so we can have a somewhat normal Christmas. I have already finished my Christmas shopping for the year so I am happy. I could see the writing on the wall & had a feeling if I didn’t get stuff done now I may not have a chance in December.

I am both happy & sad this week, such is life. Hopefully, next week will be brighter. I certainly hope so?