• Suspicion

    I can recall being in high school & going into one of the pharmacies in our small home town. The people that worked there treated any youth like a would be criminal. Following us up & down the aisles. It became a place to avoid, for obvious reasons. Even though it was a family owned business, the way they treated us kids was very unfair.

    Whereas the corporate pharmacy down the block was great, you could go in & shop what you needed without the hint of suspicion hanging over you. It was like being in two different places in the same town. Youth was the open enemy of the old established rich who lived there.

    The best thing that happened in town was when an independent bookstore opened. I have always loved reading so the bookstore was a treat. Staff was always friendly & kind & the atmosphere was always light & airy. I miss that bookstore because I spent most of my high school & college going to it.

    I also spent time walking at the local beach/state park. It’s where I would go to get away from the toxicity in our house. Plug in my Walkman & spend 90 minutes walking there, it’s where I found solitude.

    I miss parts of where I grew up but I don’t miss the toxic parts or the constant bullying & harassment I experienced in high school but I miss parts of it. I’ve heard that much has changed & much hasn’t. Such is life I guess.

    Till next time. Chin up, there’s vaccines on the way.

  • Worried over a cold

    Here I am 2 days after my birthday worried over what feels like symptoms of a cold. In the age of COVID it’s not easy to have symptoms of a cold & I do. It’s just so worrying that I am grateful I’m not going anywhere for the next few days.

    I got slightly cold & wet this weekend at my birthday party, which was outside. I hope that’s the only reason & not that I’ve been exposed to COVID. I will try to think on the positive side of things??

    My birthday party was fun, we sat outside & enjoyed the sun & the cold, while eating my husband’s awesome carrot cake. I was grateful for the people that showed up, it made my day really special.

    Other than that I’m going try to look on the positive side of things & not worry so much. Although I’m a really good worrier. It’s just a cold & it’ll pass.

    An update on my symptoms, I snore hence the sore throat & I have no fever. My sinuses are bothering me but I have had sinuses problems for years. I need more nasal spray & that will fix my headache. No it’s not COVID.

    Stay safe and see you next time.

  • A surprise.

    Over 20 years ago I never thought I would be inching towards my 50’s. My life was a sequence of turbulent times that felt that they would not change. Now, I look back & feel grateful for what I have Right now.

    In my 20’s I felt lost & confused, hence I focused all my energy on school. I am proud of my degree because I got it with blood, sweat & tears. It wasn’t easy & I even had a vindictive professor in my last year of school; something that didn’t help my GPA.

    But in the end I finished & that’s what counts. Today I try to write in one form or another everyday. I write in my journal or my blog or my book. I stay proactive with my writing because that’s what I am best at. Today, I’ve 30 years of writing behind me, something I never thought would happen.

    I have tried painting but like words better, I am able to say exactly what I mean, without any fuss. Writing is my lifeline it’s how I process & how I let go.

    Till next time, stay warm & be careful on the internets.