I just spent 2 awesome days at one of busiest brothels in Berlin. Last night alone I heard the doors open 6 times before 1am.
How do you spot a brothel in a Euro city, look for greasy business men in cheap suits, fake organic breakfast and ugly, cheap pine furniture from Ikea.
Another tell is the Fugly landscape pictures hanging on the wall.
Outdated TVs and of course the grossest aspect the shower boxes & nasty soap dispensers(room 106) at Hotel twenty six.
Another tell is the made in China espresso machines and hookers working there that don’t know hoe to use one. With Hotel twenty six the deadly construction site and deadly walk to the reception is another. The hipsters are nice but make sure to have your authentic Toms with you in a boring color blue.
The best way to see Berlin is to walk, we found a wonderful and eccentric neighborhood by following the pink sewer pipe.

Many things have transpired the last few weeks. Among my short lived marriage & the hope for a new start. Am currently in a grossly decorated room filled with Ikea furniture that doesn’t match for me being in Germany or this hotel.
Have to thank my parents for psych ward feel, however with all the listening devices I was forced to unplug all 50 cent small lamps she’s put everywhere in the room. The creme de la creme is the camera in the TV. Guess he really wanted to document my downfall. However

I suspect it will be his.
I have always known from a young age that they where bad people but the planning that went into this is astoundingly scary. No wonder he wants my disability benefits and who can forget the life insurances policies he has in my name.
I am not remotely surprised sitting in *fake* German Ikea room that they threw together, because I saw it coming when I was 23. My guess is that IF he can’t do it in Europe he’ll do it Seattle. However knowing people who are not enticed by money helps because they’re Ethical when I know my parents have NEVER been.
You learn at a young age when your parents don’t love you or want you. For me I was 2 and remember my dad’s stale alcohol breath screaming drunk at me and holding my wrists till they nearly broke. Since then I have known..When he twisted my neck till I lost consciousness and all my crazy, unstable mother did was watch I have been told by social

workers and the police that my father the abusive Schwein would try again.
So here I sit in this fake psych ward room in Berlin grateful for the friends I do have because to me my friends have always been my family; not my nuclear one. Shame Narvik has become so dangerous for me but I will always have it in my heart till it’s safe to return. Please pray for me until I am safetly back in USA. 

it’s been a few months since i have cycled off my medication & it’s wonderful to wake up before 8am without my medication making the beginning of each day so cloudy. the rewards have been worth it-we have painted a majority of the downstairs & are doing the living room next. i had the opportunity to meet the national office of an non-profit i volunteer for during a convention a few weeks back & enjoyed learning about the advances connected to PTSD.

the other thrilling mini-victory i have had is reclaiming my 4.6 loop in the northern part of the city. seeing the beauty of the mountains & the splendor of the boats are worth it. interval training is something i have done for most of my life & coming back to it was easier than thought now that my nerve injury caused by an abusive ex has finally healed. i working on stepping down on the ball of my foot rather than the heel & am able to put away a little over 3 miles in less than an hour. now, my search is on for new music since i have an app that’s tracking the progress i am making.

my partner has been telling me i look good but they’re supposed to say that so i didn’t really believe him until i ran into a friend of mine recently who said i looked great. for the first time in all my years of interval training i have invested in the proper gear. synthetic, comfortable skorts & dare i say $50 t-shirts that are amazing! i even splurged & got the lightest rain proof jacket i have ever known that folds into its own pocket. i won’t stop running until late in the winter-bring on the weather!

i am taking a break from therapy after encountering the social worker with the magical feather-see prior post. when i return from strolling through the tundra picking cloudberries & eating way too much marzipan i will sit down & figure that part of the puzzle out. i know i will only be doing cash for my sessions because i believe that anyone in therapy should be respected enough to get their 55 minutes worth. being taken for granted for nearly 4 years is enough for anyone to seek a different solution; which is why i am taking a break & finally enjoying summer.