I have been opening one of Mary Oliver’s books to random pages & then I read that poem. She had written a poem about Mud & bogs & how hard it is to walk through. It reminded me of a tough July I had this Summer. Clambering between tall grass to not sink in. That’s how I felt this Summer when most days where filled with tears & not much else.

I like re-reading poems that cause me to pause & to think about things. I also found my book of Contemporary American Poetry from university, opened it up & discovered that I still like the same poets & their tone. Li-Young Lee for example brings everything together in a poem titled The City In Which I Love You. He brings up terror & love almost in the same paragraph.

China & the US are side by side in the poem. Darkness & light hold hands in that poem as it sways between the two worlds. It reminds me of what I lost & what I have gained. July still makes my heart ache & that’s why I love the narration in Mary Oliver’s words. How she punctuates the poem & direct her feelings towards a person or a feeling.

My Fall has been full of exclamations & punctuation this year. Maybe it’s because I have a lot on my mind or maybe because I finally see 2 faced people for what they really are. Lying to your face also means they lie to others. Hence, not worth any space in my blog.

No, love isn’t simple & it’s complicated to say the least. This Fall has really gotten me think about my relationship & the friendships I have with others. I think honesty is the best policy no matter how much it hurts or brings joy. I will never lie for the sake of someone.

Maybe it’s because I am Present with my feelings no matter how hard they may be to feel. It’s one thing my trauma has taught me to be Present. It’s just better than pretending or lying. Something I don’t condone. Either be Honest or get out of my life. I guess is my new motto.