The last 6 months; I’ve been in a ton of pain that seems to come & go like waves. It’s hard to describe but I feel like a rockstar one day & the next am caput on the couch. It’s made me revaluate what I want to do with my life.

Today I got to spend an hour talking about it & it felt cathartic & it opened my mind that the pain I have is Real. Now, I just have to figure out what I want to do & how I want to do it. I saw myself as starting something Big & now I am not so sure?

I have always written so maybe I should focus my energy on that? However, I want to change how people perceive mental health & the stigma’s associated with it. Having something mentally wrong is hard to cope with but also have something that is physical is hard to deal with.

Finding out that I got referred to a IBS clinic at the hospital feels frustrating to me. Because I know I have IBS but for it to be so severe doesn’t seem right. To me because of my pain I think it could be Crohns? But of course I don’t have that confirmed yet, so I am in limbo with the next steps I need to take.

I get some alone time soon & I am going to have a think about what I want to do?
See what the pain teaches me about I am going to do in the next 2 years?

Till next time.