Dingy mattress

It’s been an interesting week so far but something struck a nerve. Maybe it’s that we have a new bed or maybe it was a phone call. Either way it’s sad to think how little progress some people make.

In high school I had two lifelines that saved my life. Those didn’t include my parents or my sibling. It was my cello & the orchestra I played in. You see while I was bullied & harassed at high school, I also had a sister that joined those toxic people by spreading nasty rumors about me.

At night she slept on a bed under lock & key for fear that I the sister she treated like garbage had my entire life on the floor of my room. Including a dingy, lumpy mattress that was my bed.

I didn’t have much but I had my lifelines that checked in with me everyday & that does Not include the school shrink who aided my parents in the abuse by looking the other way & told me I would never graduate UNI because I should go to a trade school.

How wrong she was. As was my parents who sent me to a “therapist” who was as abusive as they where. In my small town in CT it was easier to pretend that your family was normal when everyone who actually knew me knew better.

The orchestra was my lifeline as was the practice that I did everyday. It was not the “love” of my parents who treated me like trash. It was my orchestra teachers who would make sure I never missed a down beat. Those are my hero. Not my parents who taught me that all I deserved was a dingy mattress on a wooden floor.

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