i am quite flummoxed as for the First time in my life i was called a “user” by what i will call a under handed, unprofessional chemical dependency counselor; who in what was my monday ritual of house meeting extolled this to the Entire house of women. i was aghast-i had asked her if she was a former drug user herself when she chimed to me that i could tell her since i was One. when i got noticeably upset by her behavior she asked me what was Wrong. i should have gone to see “dark knight” and skipped the meeting but i responded & as i was already branded by the staff as “verbally abusive” & on my second strike they wasted no time in getting rid of me.
i had 3 days i didn’t use to leave, my friend picked me up early yesterday afternoon & didn’t leave much of donations to the other women as i still have a place for my belongings. i also have a roof over my head, a quiet house where the only sounds are that of a barking dog. considering i have lived with 30 barking women in the last near year it’s refreshing to be able to cook anything i want in the kitchen, walk into a bathroom without having to lock the door & walk outside without having to worry about 4 digit codes or checking in with staff before retiring to bed for the night.
i am disgusted with the transitional program i was in as i didn’t gain much knowledge about myself or what they deemed my “verbally abusive” behavior. i got stable on my medication did my chore flawlessly, but had no head space where i was able to think. i no longer have to worry about malicious gossip by the UNprofessional staff that ran the place or the women i was living with. after outing the chemical dependency counselor lack of ability (she Claimed she has a Gift.) in the house i was Pleased to hear that The Actual Users in the house want very little to do with her. she shot herself in the Foot in the meeting where she was introducing herself to the women i used to live with.
i was called a “hater” for calling her out, something i have never been. if i was i wouldn’t have Friends. haters don’t have Friends. as a send off from me leaving the house i went out for coffee with a few of them. where the topics where the same old problems that have always been at Compass Cascade. unprofessional staff, bullies and gossip. things that Never changed in the time i was there. i gained no Great Knowledge about myself. i learned how to avoid the Bullies, staff that wasn’t supportive & functioned more like Glamorized Desk Jockeys with $20 per-hour job.
my days are my own again & it will take some time to get used to not having to Check in with my worthless case manager who egged me on & berated me more than she supported. or having to count days i can take out per-month, i can have a drink & watch my friends play in a band without worrying about Curfews, Caustic directors who swings from one pendulum to the next/changes with every other day & had one of the worst Fake Sweet voices i have heard in my life. it will take some get used to not sharing space with a bunch Bullies & unprofessional staff. but i am Looking forward to the Next Step in my adventure & am sure i can land on my feet, no matter what comes in my way.