i have spent the last few weeks peeling pomegranates as i find the task soothing and comforting. my husband and i just experienced a loss we are trying to come to terms with. when i felt sad i found easier to peel a pomegranate than cry-because i felt that i was doing something that has been helping me heal. i have not spent much time sitting @ home however but have thrown myself into volunteering which is keeping my weeks busy.
yesterday i went to one of my favorite places in the city and sang Norwegian Christmas songs in Norwegian while hearing about my friends lives over a sandwich. it’s the cheapest and healthiest all you can eat lunch in the city and am grateful that i have been invited to come by.
dealing with a loss is never easy but i knew what was coming this time and prepared myself ahead of time by filling up my schedule with tasks and places to be. i am still sad but am finding myself processing the sadness rather than it sitting an enveloping me. i discovered yesterday while in transit that i could listen to coldplay without feeling a bitterness or sadness. a huge step.
today i washed some sweaters and will be heading out to write thank you’s to all of those who where part of my wedding and bridal shower the last year. i am also visiting my favorite cafe, tucked away south of the city. i am grateful for my strength and ability to cope that has kept stable-even though i am sad. when i was homeless 3 years ago-i recall always thinking about the next day. because if i could make it through a rough day i could always make it through the next one.
things are much better now-but that is also because i have a great husband and sweet dog and plenty of support which has made things easier to cope with because i know i am not alone. for the first time in my life i have heard some great stories from the most unexpected places and i am grateful for my friends who shared them with me.