awkward

as i am writing this-i am sitting in a crowded cafe with descent coffee. surrounded by the Recession on all sides. i haven’t been to a cafe to blog in months & i see why i haven’t.  it’s depressing to see how many people don’t have any place to go during the day. i was lucky in part because i had to run an important errand prior to landing @ cafe.

i am surrounded by people on facebook, outlook & the usual job sites. the sad part is that there is a beautiful day outside, the sun is shining after a wet weekend. being umemployed myself for the moment i guess i am grateful that i keep active & get out & do stuff. as for my recent travels i spent a brief week on the East coast soaking up why i am so happy i live in PNW.

being East was interesting on this trip partially because my BF came with me on part of the trip & a few people on FB wanted to spend time with me. i can no longer go back & be incognito. something i really enjoyed before. i would spend the day in New Haven; going to my favorite college hang out places & catching up with friends anonymously. it was great.

not so fast…..on this trip i also got a dose of the past in the form of sushi & conversation. stories from the last 15 years. for me the situation was awkward & weird. i also was jet lagged & had no appetite that afternoon-when i did a double header.  i also realized how easily it is find ex’s on FB. i did a random search & found my first serious BF in a matter of seconds.

seeing the past on the screen was well uncomfortable. pretty much the same as seeing someone in person you still have feelings for but learned & have moved on. Awkward. pretty much how i feel sitting next to this freak who lied to whomever she had her cell phone conversation with. she is “working.” yeah i like that-she wasn’t even a convincing liar. women that drink vanilla latte’s usually aren’t.

hence, going back to the East coast is something i can no longer do without notice. i don’t know what i would do if every guy i dated found me on FB-i would probably would drop FB. i found the trip interesting because it makes me really happy to be with the BF i am with& that i made the right decision moving to the PNW almost a decade ago.

seeing the past makes me happy with the future. i know what truly good coffee is now& what a hot breakfast on the weekend along with a dog that is adorable. next month he & i take the next step & move in together. this time it feels right & that feels great. i will still go East- just hope next  time it doesn’t come with a dose Awkward.

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Cecilie E Roaldset View All →

I am a 44 year old writer and poet that just published my first collection of poetry called Greylight. I live by 3 simple rules everyday, live, laugh, love. I currently live in Norway with my husband and our dog. I adore people watching and seeing how others see the city I now live in. I hope you enjoy reading and if you ever have any feedback all is welcome.

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