today, made me realize why i am on medication and why i have always needed it; when i mistook my BF’s not answering his phone i began to create false images in my head. something that is common with people with SADO, however-i have began to catch myself when i do and he was kind enough to tell me that if i was Freaking out i could call. knowing that and knowing myself that is a huge sigh of relief.
i am realizing that i have to take one day at a time steps and allow myself space. something i am not used to. i also can’t take my trip because of how early i am in the program, that makes sense really bumming me out. i may need an emergency bagel drop-as i don’t know when or if i will be able to go.
since, getting my diagnosis of SADO i am beginning to see my own triggers and what they are; a huge step for me as i am looking at how i act and why. today, i had a really lame argument in the house with a woman who is clearly Unhappy and wants the rest of the world to be the same. i found her actions really sad, because i like her. it’s tough living in a house with 30 other women, each day something different happens, today all the ‘action’ was in the Kitchen.
it became tense and uncomfortable, even for me. i have to take it with a grain of salt and let things go. everyone is entitled to have a bad day as long as they don’t drag everyone around them with them when it happens. my friend on the left coast cheered me up by throwing chicken at me on facebook (LOL.) i thought it was really Funny! it also cheered me up.
till the next day strikes.