it’s been one week since the bombing in Oslo and the massacre on Utoya. i attended a Vigil in Seattle on Tuesday and felt sadness. this thought that my Motherland will never be same-forever shifted by what happened. what’s troubling to me is that he was a home grown terrorist that had become fixated on the atrocities he committed. waking up to the drama unfolding in Oslo last Friday and feeling faraway from it all was the hardest. going to the Vigil this past week was a blessing and a curse. people stood around and hugged and greeted one another but it wasn’t out of joy it was out of sadness.
an elderly gentleman i have known for several years hugged me and said it was good to see me and in the next moment both our eyes went dark. a man i have never seen before sitting next to him was so happy to hear my fluent Norwegian. he asked me where my family was from and i told him. i spoke to my dad this week who told me that there was several young people that had passed away close to the community my family is from.
since the atrocities my husband and i have decided that i should travel back and visit with family. i spent a few weeks in the winter there but i know when i put my feet down on Norwegian soil i will feel much different than i did 6 months ago. i think the most prolific thing is that the security and safety i have always felt in Oslo has been eroded. the peace of the Noble Peace prize will now take on a different meaning and July 22nd will be a day or Vigils and remembrance. i love my Motherland even half way around the globe. i have decided that i will speak to my parents in Norwegian when i call them now. keeping alive the part of me that is Norwegian that will be grieving and sad because of the huge cultural shift that was last Fridays events.
theShift
July 29, 2011
Posted by cecilie purging the past
July 17, 2011today, i took a huge leap and went through a drawer where i had saved all the shirts from the Summer i was homeless. a few years ago i remember that i wanted to hold onto them so i wouldn’t forget what happened to me. now, i feel safe and no longer doubt the future-which i why i felt ready to donate my old clothes.
the sentiments i had for a one of the worst years of my life finally where shifted when i ran into a woman that used to look for me when i was in the women’s shelter. we where both really excited to see each other and i was able to tell her that my life had changed for the better. that i am married now and recently celebrated my 1 year anniversary. i met her on a night i was volunteering in one of the many buildings we go to.
seeing her still reaching out to the less fortunate and doing it with a smile on her face made me grateful for all the things i have accomplished. today, i found the t-shirt i wore that Summer and no longer felt anxious just relieved that i am now in a better place.
i hope my clothes make a difference to someone in need. i know they made a difference to me.
