After over 30 years together I feel like I need to end things with you. You’re no longer who you say you are, it’s like you have changed. Really since when was the tanning booth better then your people or even me? You are acting like another country, I am sure you know who I mean, it starts with an R. 

R is really scary, they took Hillary away from us when we needed her the most. Who does that?? Really? I have many friends on your shores but there’s airplanes so like whatever. 

I remember you in the late 80’s and 90’s you were fab. You helped Germany tear down a wall, remember? Now, you want to build one so my parents will have to pick their own produce. Who does that? My parents are old.

I remember NYC in the 90’s so independent and cool. Now NYC is like you, like everywhere. The same Starbucks on every corner. I don’t know who you are anymore so I am breaking up with you. I’ll keep rockin in the Free world; what will you do, listen to Adele and feel sorry for yourself?