better to give

a few years ago i was very sick & very paranoid & it landed me in the hospital. while i was suffering i made youtube videos of the places i was paranoid about. today i took them down as i sadly realized that i was being judged by them.

whenever i experience judgement i think of the number of families that hide this very real secret. 1/4 people suffer from mental illness & don’t seek treatment as they don’t want to be judged. this is sad. i can spot symptoms in both adults & children & it’s not very difficult.

it reminds me of the good people i know-the people that see how kind i am & how giving. a few months back a good friend of mine said that i was a catch; pretty cool considering i have been married for 6 years now and my anniversary is coming up soon. judgement is like that it blinds you of the good stuff.

i feel grateful for my husband because he see’s me not the label or the stigma & he doesn’t try to make my hard days harder rather he supports me which makes a world of difference. every spring/summer i think about all the guys that didn’t see me.

that didn’t trust me or accused me of doing stuff i hadn’t done. there where many but none as good as my husband who knows that i don’t have to wear my wedding ring everyday because i can shake an aggressive come on without it.

i feel lucky & grateful that i have that-and that i waited to get married. sometimes it’s just better to be the good person rather than the judgemental one. because love doesn’t see judgement/love see’s you without it/ flaws & all & that’s all you need.

%d bloggers like this: