imagining the worst

all my life i have been plagued by the thought that harm will come to me in some form or another. it’s something i have been battling my entire life-and i am always surprised when things don’t go bad and things turn out okay. i know it’s hard for my husband to deal with me constantly imaging the worst when everything is going okay.

since i have left the hospital: my biggest fear is that i would end back in it and i would be harmed when i am. i think part of this thinking comes from watching too many bad TV shows and enclosing the thought in my daily routine rather than recognizing that it’s just a bad thought.

the same goes for if i am wearing certain clothing i think people say bad things about me while i am wearing them. something i have dealt with since i was in high school and i would pick fights with random people because i thought they called me something bad.

living with a mental illness is difficult and i feel that my illness sometimes gets the best of me. which is why i am so thankful for the support that i have in my life and how much it means to me.


Cecilie E Roaldset View All →

I am a 46 year old writer and poet that just published my first collection of poetry called Greylight. I live by 3 simple rules everyday, live, laugh, love. I currently live in Norway with my husband and our dog. I adore people watching and seeing how others see the city I now live in. I hope you enjoy reading and if you ever have any feedback all is welcome.

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