well-here i sit married. something 5 years ago i never thought i would end up doing-but a sober mind changed that for me nearly 2 years ago. in my 20’s and into my 30’s i often found myself going out twice a week or more and waking up hung-over and clueless. i also dated every buzzed, greased and douchebag guy i could find. manners didn’t matter if he liked to party hard like i did.

then i met a sweet guy from Wisconsin that didn’t like to party and didn’t go out every night and didn’t try to impress me with amount booze he had in his basement(i mean wine.) he took me on great hikes, made amazing breakfasts and showed me some pretty great trails that i never would seen had it not been for the fact that i was always @ some outrageous Burner party drinking “lemonade.”

after he and i ended i stopped going out. Why-because “the scene” wasn’t fun anymore and i got tired of fending off men that where not only drunk but stoned and often would be crazy enough to offer me a ride home. which i stopped declining and ordered a cab way before last call. in 07 before i ended up in the street shelter i drank to cope with how out of control my life was getting. i went from hotel to hotel to a dirty floor filled with stems from pot.  i lived with a habitual pot smoker who’s habit caused me to spiral and what ended with me being in the hospital for 3 weeks.

after i became homeless and i was over-medicated(gorked) i realized that sleeping on a hard floor every night was better than turning tricks or sitting in a bar where i would have put my life in even more jeopardy. having a mat on the floor no matter where that floor was in the end was more important than getting drunk. many things have happened since then-but one of the things i won’t do is have more than 2 drinks and if i do the occasion better be special.

for things being special-i got a dose of that my wedding where i saw plenty of people going out of there way to drink wine even with dessert-and if it’s not port you don’t do that Scandinavia. it’s bad etiquette. i also stopped drinking because my body aches the next day-my fatigue flares and i feel lousy. i know a usual hang-over consists of lack of appetite, sound issues and feeling nauseous. however, for me i have plenty with my whole body aching and not just for one day;

it usually lasts for up to 3 days. that’s over half a week with pain from one night of drinking. which is why @ my own wedding and the days leading up to it-i didn’t feel the need to feel lousy. the jet lag and all the preparation did that all on it’s own. i am enjoying feeling married and having a stable safe place to come home to without wondering if my hubby will ask to see me drunk. those days are behind me and it feels really good to be mature enough to not need to drink just for the sake of doing *something.*