it’s a monday, i am dreading returning to the house filled with drama & lame rules. i am not looking forward to entering my tiny room & wondering if i will encounter the shelter bully that has been tagging me for most of the last month. i missed the fire alarm going off the other day, one of the women parading herself in front of the homeless men that share our alley & our disgusting car port. i miss the fights in the kitchen, arguments over stoves. i had coffee with one of the women in the house the other day & she said don’t they realize that they are still Homeless too. i doubt it.

last year i can remember like it was yesterday how bad my night was before i got into the transitional shelter i am in now. i was harassed by one of the bullies in the street shelter, she was having a rough day & i became her target. she called me useless, a nobody, nothing. it was venom that changed my life. the next day i left the shelter for a new one. i visited the street shelter a few months back & she was still there, spewing her anger. i felt sorry for her that she couldn’t take her anger & form it into something Positive. something Good.

i am grateful for no longer being on the street, wondering where my head will end up. i realize how close i am even being in the transitional shelter i am in now. i have lousydays, days that i feel like i am still @ the bottom, days that i feel like i am not going anywhere. but then my phone rings or i have a good conversation with somebody & the bleakness goes away. i know that one day i will become someBody. till then i will have determination to get myself to a better place, because that is something i know i can do. it’s the determination i have in my step& the friends who are there through all of it. lousy days always become Good days if i let them.